I feel I need to vent or express this, because I really don't have any other way to. Since being pregnant I have been off my medication for my anxiety and bipolar. Which slowly has caused me to to regress into a even worse state then I was before I began taking these medications 7 years ago. It is extremely hard and some cases impossible for me to do certain normal every day things. Making phone calls is one of them, talking to strangers is another. It is like being trapped in a box of severe fear all the time. I can't just calm down or get over it. These things are just a few of my triggers, and once I am set off I can react in many unpleasant ways. One of them a variety of anxiety attacks. I have one type where I just get physically sick, vomit, extreme stomach pain. Another where I black out or hyper ventilate. Also where I get extremely dizzy, lose focus and cannot concentrate. Oh, and the one where I get super irrational and either cry or get super angry! I have no control over myself when these things happen, and they cause me to feel regret, fear and shame. I am ashamed I don't have the control a normal person does over their emotions and physical reactions. I want to be back on my medication, but even then I am still limited. People don't seem to understand this. I CANNOT confront people, or have any type of drama in my life, because it will cause a anxiety attack. I can tell when a stresser is going to cause me to have one, and I try to avoid them at all costs. Certain things, with the help of people I love and trust, can be done. Like at this point in time, I really cannot go any where alone, I must have some one with me. I am just too afraid. I do not like being co dependant like this, but until the baby is born I have no choice. I can't just call up strangers, and I can't order food at a drive through. My life sucks and right now I hate being me. So honestly, if you don't understand what I am going through, then just get lost. It is hard enough to deal with every day situations without people throwing in there that I should just DO certain things, when I can't. I just can't. I hate the way I am because I feel like when I explain what I am feeling or going through it is like saying I am a freak. Especially when people try to reassure me it will be fine, or I will be okay if I do the things I say I cannot handle, when I won't. How do you explain to some one you are broken??
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Kroger Coupon Trip 6-19-13
Another Kroger Coupon Trip!
Basically this time I went in for some last minute bargains before the buy 4 save $4 sale is over. Plus I only have 8 more days until I deliver my baby, so maybe only one more trip after this until I am on bed rest with the baby. This was a pretty good trip with it being $62.67 in retail, and only paying $20.35 out of pocket. That is a 67% savings, as well as $6 in catalinas I got for my next purchase. The savings percent would have been higher on this trip, but we decided to take advantage of this weeks buy 10 get 5 free sale, which was all the canned goods in the picture and the two boxes of Mac and Cheese.
The two different CAT's I got back were from buying the Oscar Mayer Bologna, buy 4 get a $3 CAT. I got two Bacon and two Turkey this trip and threw them in the freezer. The other $3 CAT I got was from buying the Bayer Low Dose Aspirin. I basically am not a big fan of them, but the CAT makes them free, and my roommate and boyfriend will use them, so a win win!
As ALWAYS all my coupon match ups were done on Kroger Krazy, please feel free to check it out, the lady that runs the site is AWESOME.
OH! I got so excited at the register to find out that my Krogers is a high doubler!! Which means ANY coupon I have over 50 cents automatically becomes 99 cents at the register! How cool is that? Any thing under 50 cents just plain doubles, but I was under the impression my local Kroger was a low doubler, and anything over 50 cents just stayed the same!
Most of all I couldn't have had such a good shopping trip if it were not for my wonderful boyfriend, Justin. He is so helpful and great at helping me keep totals and balances right for all my trips.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Krogers Coupon Trip 6-11-13
Now nearly half my purchase cost was the pop. It is on sale three 12 packs for $9.00. I ended up with 6 of the 12 packs(for $18) and used $4 in newspaper coupons, making it 6 of the 12 packs for only $14. Which is pretty awesome at $2.33 per 12 pack of name brand pop. Which to my surprise each 12 pack of Dr. Pepper 10 came with a free redbox rental! So we basically get $2.56 in free stuff (redbox in my area is up to $1.28 a night per movie).
The Airwick Freshmatic was FREE, after sale and coupon, and then the refills after sale and coupon cost me $3.98. So for the entire set up, I paid $3.98 which normally retails for $9.97.
The 4 Smart Balance Butters I paid 84 cents each for in the end, because my Kroger retails them at $2.59 each, instead of the lower estimate I got from Kroger Krazys. That's still a HUGE savings, so not a big deal to me.
The Pampers baby wipes (72 count) retailed at $2.49 each, after sale and my coupons I paid 49 cents each, and got two packs. Trust me, if I had more coupons I would have gotten more!
Now before every coupon trip I write out a detailed list of what items I am getting, along with the appropriate price before and after coupons. This way if there is a price difference, which happens, I can adjust my trip and decide if the discount is still enough to buy the item. This trip worked out very well, considering it was pretty complicated. First off Kroger is have a buy 4 participating items, get $4 off your purchase sale, so if I wanted the discount I needed to get my items in sets of 4. One item I had planned to buy my Kroger did not carry, so there went 2 items off my transaction, which threw it off. But later on in the trip another pair of items I learned were not in the sale, so it evened out, only 4 items I didn't get. Had it been different, say I had 3 sale items, I would have had to make that hard choice, do I get something I didn't plan to get, just to get my $4 off? Or do I put 3 items back? I am very happy this trip went so smoothly and if I can gather up another list of items I may make another round this week, since this sale is pretty awesome.
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