Me, mentally

So everyday I go through a variety of issues, that are only known to me. It can be very hard and trying at times to deal with them, but I do the best I can. I seek out help, and I take medication. I don't want to be depressed and have my emotions out of control. Not everyone is familiar with what I suffer from and what they really mean.

OCD
OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. According to the Mayo Clinic OCD is 'an anxiety disorder characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). With obsessive-compulsive disorder, you may realize that your obsessions aren't reasonable, and you may try to ignore them or stop them. But that only increases your distress and anxiety. Ultimately, you feel driven to perform compulsive acts in an effort to ease your stressful feeling'
Basically things have to be done a certain way, a certain amount of times, at a certain time, and if you don't do it, you suffer. You become stressed and anxious, and it can even make you feel physically sick. It isn't the same for everyone. One person may have to wash their hands 3 times every time they wash them, where another person may have to always get dressed in a certain order, and if either of these people where to try to change what they do it can cause them distress.
Personally my OCD is very mild. There are things that stress me though, and I realize they can be silly things. I have to have all my bath towels folded and facing a certain way, and if I find them wrong I have to fix them. When I get out of the shower I always dry off in a certain order, just considering doing it a different way makes me feel like I am not dry.

Bipolar Disorder
According to the Mayo Clinic 'Bipolar disorder — sometimes called manic-depressive disorder — is associated with mood swings that range from the lows of depression to the highs of mania. When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts in the other direction, you may feel euphoric and full of energy. Mood shifts may occur only a few times a year, or as often as several times a day. In some cases, bipolar disorder causes symptoms of depression and mania at the same time.'  

Basically is a condition that messes with your mood. It commonly causes very obvious changes in a persons personality as well. Some people can live with bipolar their entire lives and never really know it, be labeled as a moody person. While others notice the mood swings and the negative effect they can have on their life. 

Personally my bipolar has a severe effect on my life. It causes me to be depressed and no long want to do things I love. I love crafting, of all kinds, and more then once in a depression told Justin I wanted to get rid of all my crafting supplies. Also I can be manic, and usually at the worst time, like 1am. Times when I should be sleeping I feel full of energy and want to spring into action with a project I know there is no way I can complete. Then I also get severely angry, at the drop of a dime. It can be frustrating at times.

Social Anxiety Disorder

According the Mayo Clinic 'social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, everyday interactions cause irrational anxiety, fear, self-consciousness and embarrassment.'

Basically talking to people, handling common interactions, making phone calls, can cause stress and even trigger anxiety attacks. 

Personally my social anxiety makes it extremely difficult for me to make phone calls, and make contact with strangers in new places. If I have been some where before I usually don't have too much of an issue talking to them, but if it is some where new, I can't even order food. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, and in severe situations it makes me have a panic attack where I feel like I can't breath and my chest hurts. 

I also suffer from general anxiety and depression but they mostly tie in with one or more of the above conditions. Life can be a day to day battle, but I realize I have these issues and I try my best to face them. I want to be the best person possible for myself, my son, and Justin. So it first takes admitting you have a problem and then taking steps to fix that issue. 

Baby Learning

One thing that crosses my mind all the time and did when I was pregnant was how can I teach my son? How can I give him the best possible start in a large complicated world? The things I knew in 1st grade, kids learn at home and know by kindergarten now! So I am always looking for new ways to interact with Aries and teach him stuff right now! I found a great article on the Parents.com website that lists 50 Simple Ways to Make Your Baby Smarter. I read through the list and loved the ideas and already do some now. You can check out the list here.

Then there is another article that I read that shows how your baby is learning everyday, just through normal activities. You can read that article here. It is amazing how much information they take in everyday. Aries is just over 3 months old and how much he has changed in such a short amount of time is amazing. 

I am always wondering what Aries will do next, or what he should be able to do at his age. I want to make sure he is on track and doesn't show any signs of developmental issues. What can I say, I worry. WebMD has a nice piece that explains pretty well in this article. Growing and learning everyday, my little boy is on his way!

Fitness and Pregnancy

My pregnancy was planned, we were trying to get pregnant. But at the same time I wasn't preparing my body to have a baby. I spent most of my pregnancy being miserable. My baby was healthy and well taken care of, but I was sick, sore and just uncomfortable. Had I been in better shape and taken better care of myself in advance I would have possibly done better.

So basically my big plan is to get my body back into shape and earn back my before baby body, plus some. So first we are starting out with walking. Getting my body used to moving around again. Then I want to add in playing Dance Central on the Xbox360. We haven't gotten the living room cleaned out enough to play yet, but will soon. I have also started looking for ways to eat healthier. I have started eating yogurt and cooking more at home. We only eat out once a week now and I am trying to eat more fresh things, like raw veggies. 

When we do decide to have our next baby, this mommy wants to be ready, physically as well as mentally. Also I want Aries to see me as a role model in his future health choices. I want him to chose to be active and eat healthy always. I love his Daddy, but he is a true junk food junky.

My Top Five Baby Items

I think every parent uses different things on their babies, and even from baby to baby. I use stuff now that wasn't around when I was a baby and I will probably use different things on my next baby. For now though I do have my top five baby items I have used with Aries and loved. Now these are not in any certain order.

First: Baby Swaddlers

Swaddlers are blankets you can buy that have velcro so you can easily wrap them snuggly around the baby. This one in the picture was the first one we had, given to me by my amazing friend Linda. Kim, Aries's Grandma, went out and bought him more once we realized how much he loved them. He would flail his arms and wake himself up, so once wrapped nice and snug he slept great. He has outgrown them now that he is 3 months old, but they were a HUGE help at the time!

Second is Our Portable Co-Sleeper

This is considered a co-sleeper bed because you can actually put it in bed with you. He is still using this bed now. It was a great purchase because it made it really easy to move him from room to room depending on where we needed him to sleep at night or during the day. It also folds up for easy storage and transportation. In the picture below it is on a standard microwave stand. We have had it on the floor and on our couch. This piece will be used for our next baby for sure.

Number Three is Nuk Orthodontic Bottles

These were a fairly expensive purchase, but well worth it. Because of the orthodontic nipples Aries was able to get easier and better suction, and I don't have to worry about the effect the bottle will have on the development of his teeth. They also have a great air release system so he swallows as little air as possible. We are still using the smaller bottles on him as well.

Number Four: Bath Seat

My friend Blair gave me the most awesome bath seat ever. I have used this bath seat since he was able to take baths. At first he wasn't a fan of baths at all. Now that he is older he loves them and the water. He takes advantage of the way the seat is made and slides down in it so he can splash and kick more. I see him using this for quiet a bit longer as well.

Number Five YouTube

Okay, I know this one isn't exactly a baby product, but if it were not for YouTube we would have had to invest money in baby music CD's or something. Aries is a noise baby, he just does not sleep well without sound. So for the longest time we would search up videos of baby lullibies. Then we decided we needed a set song list, and made one. So every night we turn on Aries bedtime music and he knows it is time to sleep. If he sleeps during the day he listens to different music or the TV while he sleeps. Thanks YouTube!

Diapers!

If you have no guessed by the picture yet, this post is about diapers! I know, very exciting right?

Well, as a first time Mom, I have been thrown into the wide world of diapers. At first all the shiny packages show equal promise of butt coverage. But as you can see above all brands are a little different. So here are the current 5 brands in my home!

Number One

Target Brand Diapers

I was recommended these through a family member. The cost is only slightly more then the cheapest diapers, which are WalMarts Parents Choice Diapers. These run bigger. All the diapers pictured above are size ONE diapers. So these offer more coverage overall. Also when they get wet they don't seem to get puffy like normal diapers do. So far these are the only diapers I have ever seen not get puffy when wet. They also feature the color changing stripe when wet.

Number Two

Pampers

I happen to get these on sale. Over all a good diaper, that I have not had any issues with. The second largest diaper really. Being a name brand diaper, they are more on the expensive side as well.

Number Three

Huggies

Now with Huggies I bought a ton on sale and they have given me issues. They have a strong tendency to leak out the top if they are not put on super tight. Keep in mind I do have a boy, and this may not be the issue with a girl. Also if left on for extended wear, they kinda pill up on the outside. This doesn't cause any actual problems, but I guess it may under extreme circumstances. I have a bunch of them, and I intend on using them, we just have to put them on a little extra tight.

Number Four

Luvs

Now Luvs have worked well for us, but I do recommend them if you have a longer thinner baby. These diapers are smaller, but longer. They also have really great stretch around the legs so that it fits well down there. 

Number Five

Comforts

Comforts are sold at Kroger, and I am not sure if they are only sold there. But they were given to me at my baby shower and I love them. The product is true to its name and it is a very comfortable diaper that has never given us a problem. These are also a medium cost diaper, a little more then store brand, but much less then name brand. These also run the smallest in comparison to the other diapers listed here. 

Now I know I didn't list Parents Choice Diapers here, because I didn't have one on hand to picture. These are great quality diapers, and as far as I have found the cheapest. I use these as a default diaper, unless I am given or buy another brand on sale.

Update!

Being a Mom keeps you BUSY! But I love it. Every moment with Aries is just amazing. Even the moments he has that aren't with me are just awesome. He loves his Dad. It blows my mind how close they are. He just turned 3 months old a few days ago and he has recently started watching TV. So him and Daddy will sit in the mornings some times and watch TV together, and it is the cutest thing.

Aries has begun to love his play gym. He lays under it and swats at his toys, or just enjoys watching them. We keep PBS Sprout on TV for him, so he watches a little Seaseme Street and plays.

He is still eating smaller amounts then I think he is supposed to be, but I feed him as much as he wants. He seems happy and potties often, so I am not super worried. He is already growing into his 3-6 month clothes! I love those big blue eyes. They keep getting lighter and lighter like mine.

It feels like he is growing up so fast, he often puts himself to sleep now. He also goes to sleep where ever he pleases, like under his gym. He also sticks to his midnight bed time so well. It makes me so proud of him.

It is so hard to believe that 3 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who is growing up so fast. He likes to swim in the bathtub and spend time with Mommy and Daddy. Nothing can describe the way his face lights up when you talk to him. 

I love being a mom, I would have never guessed this would be the best title I have ever worn.